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Amaze Your Friends

by The Disappointed Skeptics Club

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1.
Second Heart 05:08
I found your second heart In the attic, in a suitcase Wrapped in tissue like treasure Wrapped in lace Well I’m no expert, but it looks As if it’s hardly been used Just a little wear and tear Hear and there I looked at my own heart The dings and dents, the livid bruise Blooming deep and dark Even as I look I switched your second heart With a fox’s paw And then I shoved the suitcase back In its dusty corner But I can’t forget it No I can’t forget it No I can’t forget it No I can’t forget it And I think you look sad today But you won’t know why No you won't know why
2.
I’m going out tonight To pick flowers in the churchyard Moon blooms all as white As the earth is dark Corpse flowers Corpse flowers Corpse flowers I’m going to delve down deep Dig out the roots and all Preserve the living thing Is what’s important after all Corpse flowers Corpse flowers Corpse flowers I’ll place them around your room On the tables, chairs and windowsills They’ll feast upon your ills Little by little by little, and soon Corpse flowers Corpse flowers Corpse flowers
3.
Want It Back 04:28
You made a coin appear Out of the summer air Smiled and put it in my hand That’s yours for free, my little man And what I wouldn’t give To have that simple trick These days, these days, when coins are scarce And summer’s haze is hard to stand I want it back, that feeling I want it back, that feeling It isn’t even about the coins Magicked out of the shimmer Oh how I miss the heart-wow wonder That wide-eyed glimmer I don’t think I can take That it’s only sleight of hand I don’t know how to make Myself believe any of this, man I want it back, that feeling I want it back, that feeling
4.
Falling 04:28
Watching him sleepwalk into space A speck against the contrails and the clouds And all the way down here at the ground It takes a while to ripple through the crowd That something isn’t going to plan It’s a thirty seven storey drop to the sidewalk But this can’t be happening He’s the man And he’s falling Falling Falling Falling Watching him tumble from the sky Swears and prayers rising high A murmuration of disbelief shimmers off the bricks Like a sigh And something isn’t going to plan It’s a fifteen storey drop to the sidewalk But this can’t be happening He’s the man And he’s falling Falling Falling Falling Watching him serenely death defy It’s a single storey drop to the sidewalk But I know he’s got something up his sleeve
5.
Fifty two bicycles Once around the sun A million breaths recycling The longest way to run Do you see me now You see me now You see me now You see me Do you see? One big mistake to make A cosmic misdirection So I had to Make a course correction Do you see me now You see me now You see me now You see me Do you see? Top shot, Hermann pass Crimps and jogs, Reverses Double lift, False cut Side slip, Rehearses And rehearses And rehearses All of this time Perfecting the pass Shuffling the miles Impossibly fast Now you see me now You see me now You see me now You see me Do you see?
6.
Miracle Mile 04:20
To get to know a man You walk a mile in his shoes But does that just apply To the likes of me and you? If I want to be Nearer my God to thee I gotta question or three Why did Jesus keep the best tricks for himself? Isn’t that a little narcissistic? Why is it heads it’s a miracle, tails you’re on the fire? How is that anything but sadistic? So I’m gonna walk a mile Shore to shore and back again I’m gonna feed the poor And ease a little suffering Gonna stop a fight And put the world to rights How can’t that be right? Why did Jesus keep the best tricks for himself? Isn’t that a little narcissistic? Why is it heads it’s a miracle, tails you’re on the fire? How is that anything but sadistic? Wouldn’t the world be a better place If we all walked a miracle mile just one time If we all walked a miracle mile just one time If we all walked a miracle mile just one time
7.
How was it when you took the stand in the Old Bailey, Jane? Did you feel important, grand, or is it fair to say? That no one really cared about The last convicted witch in England How did you feel when they declared you guilty on all counts When for your seven heinous deeds you were fined five paltry pounds? Because no one really cared about The last convicted witch in England There was nothing magical about your story You were just a liar and a fraud And all to hell with Helen, who got the glory Even though she went down before How were you feeling at the end looking back, Rebecca, girl? When they repealed the useless law that made you look respectable What a thing to have been thought The last convicted witch in England There was nothing magical about your story You were just a liar and a fraud And all to hell with Helen, who got the glory Even though she went down before
8.
Pick a card, just any card, any card. No not that one one. Wait. Don’t look a minute. Now pick a card, no this one, it’s the three of hearts bet you don’t know how I did it Wide eyes and faked surprise, aren’t the desired prize Maybe shoulda practised more, he sighs See the rings! They’re ordinary solid steel there’s nothing fake about them. Examine this one closely, this one. Not the one I’m holding. They’re identical. Side eyes and disguised smiles, really take the shine off, guys Maybe shoulda practised more, he cries Amaze your family and your friends If one of you could volunteer your watch I hope it isn’t valuable. Jokes. Now watch, I wrap it up and smash it with this hammer... Oh come on, seriously folks… I had it all under control, you were going to be amazed Faith in the impossible’s so rare, these days Amaze your family and your friends

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released July 10, 2022

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